The idea here is that I will post bits of personal literature and subject them to the harsh criticisms of the online community. That being said, I welcome any, preferably constructive, criticisms. After all, the finest wines are all made from stepped on grapes. So be cruel if need be; these are all living documents which I hope to make better with age.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Awkwardly Moments

I apologize for a lack of posts recently. Life, in a word, has been tumultuous.

I've been dabbling with the idea of a 50 word story series, the premise of which is moments of awkwardness, in all their various guises. I was going to space them out but I figured I'd bang out three and see how they're received before committing to a series. Input, per usual, is appreciated.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Corny

''I just pooped a corn cob.'' A friend called to say.

''Did you swallow it or pass out at a frat party?''

''I definitely swallowed it.''

''How does that happen!? Hey, remember the time you swallowed a T-bone.''

''Right.''

''Hell, I've seen you puke a whole plum, sticker and all.''


Tit Stain

The corpulent blob, not weighing an ounce under four-hundred pounds, lifted his breast, revealing a sweat stain beneath. With his free hand he scratched at the tit stain vigorously.
In his enraptured state he was oblivious to where his eyes fixed themselves. The gawking child in his gaze went unnoticed.


Grandma, You Are Missed

My Grandfather, of 68, called me, asking me to meet him. He frequently invites me to lunch in a similar manner. His actual motives couldn't have been less benign.

''I signed up for speed dating but I can't do it alone, so I signed you up too.''

Obliged, I agreed.

No comments:

Post a Comment